Giving Birth to My Father

This lengthy collection represents a deeply felt grief enriched by celebration. Tusiata Avia’s father died 10 years ago, and the author confesses that she has kept the work hidden away for the last eight. That’s a clue to the nature of its content: how personally revealing her poems are both of herself and her family.

This is how it was supposed to go consists of an imagined account of Avia’s father’s funeral and the preparations for it. There is a moving reference to what he has been dressed in, namely his Christchurch Garrison Band uniform, and with his hair Brylcreemed as in his youth.

We get the eponymous My father gives birth that begins with a startlingly graphic metaphor: “I think about you in labour that night / birthing yourself out of this world / your pains coming faster and faster”. But there is no epidural for this, notes the writer, and the rest of the poem achingly records the last hours of a man deeply loved and revered by his daughter.

Tender images alternate with practical ones. In Dressing my father we get detailed descriptions of preparations for burial including mention of the injection necessary to mitigate the effects of Samoan sunshine. Most telling of the writer’s conflict about the revelations she’s making is in Dad causes an earthquake when, having experienced an actual earthquake back in New Zealand 3619 kilometres away from Samoa, she asks of her father “I wonder if you’ve had enough of me telling the family secrets  / excavating your bones in public like this – ”

In one of the concluding poems, we get “First anniversary: We go to Dad’s house” where longing for a loved one is expressed thus: “I sit by your grave and the death sickness comes / I’m unsure whether it’s you who are dead, maybe it’s me.”

You are truly alive Tusiata – grieving and celebrating your father and offering us readers the chance to do both with you.